Steamy

…recommendations of steamy things to wear for curvy girls.

When Miss Virginia was a teenager, she read a comic strip in which featured a wife in an overly tight dress. The wife was saying to her husband, “See, all these years and I’m still a perfect size 9.” The young version of Miss V remembers saying to herself, “If I am ever a size nine, just kill me.”

Oh, the irony.

You see dear reader, somehow Miss Prude had gotten it into her head that whatever size she was in 8th grade should be the size she should wear FOR LIFE. She would never ever have to shop at anywhere other than the 5-7-9 shop at the mall, and her skinny-legged extra-dark blue levis should fit her forever and ever, amen. (Even if she did have to lie down on her bed just to get them zipped.) No one — say, a self-aware mother for instance — ever told Miss Virginia that her body would in fact change over the years. Furthermore, she was never informed that body changes past the initial sprout of puberty were not only inevitable, but completely appropriate, natural, and par for the course. Rather, Miss Prude was indirectly informed that any change in size indicated a change in weight, leading one to be considered ‘fat,’  and therefore unlikely to ever get a boyfriend, and certainly not a date to the prom.

This being the case, Miss Prude is being most careful to make sure her own Fine Offspring are getting appropriate messages about body change, size fluctuations, and what-beauty-can-look like. Her current crop of tall leggy fillies is just about ready to become temporarily brain damaged by a suddenly active pituitary gland. And when they do there will be new sizes and new preferences, and Miss Prude certainly hopes she will be gracious and wise about coaching her girls through this. At the very least, they will know that size, well it only matters in some things…. (and my dears, I think we can agree when it matters, it really really matters.)

But the whole point of this post, which Miss Prude seems to have forgotten along the way, was to let her dear readers know that she will from time to time be posting her favorite sexy clothes and lingerie for curvy girls. Miss V considers herself a curvy girl at a size 8/10 in jeans, but also felt the same when she was a 10/12, 12/14 and on good days, even when she was a 16. (Miss V is very short, you see, and there have been several pregnancies, thus resulting in the Beloved Offspring, so sizes may vary.)

Miss Virginia’s first recommendation is the Sexy Little Things Satin Lace Up Hip Hugger from Victoria’s Secret.

I know what you’re thinking. When Miss V first received this little package in the mail, she was concerned that her curvy mama derriere might be a little too…malleable for such a lattice-like pair of knickers. But be not afraid, no plumber butt nightmares here! This little number is hot Hot HOT and makes a curvy girl’s ass look de-lish-i-us. (Ask Mr. Prude. He whole heartedly agrees.) Also, they don’t ride up,  bind, or in any other way bother the lady, so one can wear them all day long and know that she has a sexy little secret riding along with her in the carpool.

Go on now, treat yourself to one in red. Miss Virginia guarantees it will steam things up.

Got a favorite little number for Miss Virginia to recommend? The Vodka Tonic Ladies will love you if you send some new sites their way. Leave your tips in the comments. And be sure to tune in on Friday for a fantasty featuring these hot pants. Mwah!

Posted by Miss Virginia Prude, writer of  “erotica for the evangelically inclined.” Steamy stories are featured on Fridays.  Tell a friend, or better yet read a story to one!